MATRIMONY

Where to begin about marriage? What is the purpose of marriage?

The variety of topics, from choice of marriage partner, issues of communication, family-of-origin influence upon marriage, finances, and dealing with anger are topics for complete books on marriage.  Check the aisles of local bookstores, and you’ll find large sections devoted to relationships and topics associated with marriage.  Many of us like being married.  Many more of us want to be married more happily and with greater fulfillment.  Yet, there are personal, cultural, and social pressures which make this goal difficult to achieve. Jesus, according to the Gospel of St. John, chose to perform his first public miracle at a wedding.  He did not heal a crippled person or bring sight to the blind.  Rather, at the Wedding Feast of Cana (John 2:1-12,), Jesus came to the rescue of his friends and family by turning water into wine.  Jesus continues to offer help and assistance to married couples by his teachings on love and forgiveness, and this teaching continues through the Church.

The Catholic Church emphasizes marriage as sacrament and covenant, in contrast with the societal perspective of romance and contract.  Within the Catholic perspective, marriage and families are viewed not as isolated experiences, but as small, sacramental and grace-filled communities.  These communities then are connected to the larger world through service and care of one another.  Pope John Paul II worked to elevate married life within the Church to its place of sacrament and vocation.  For him, the sacrament of marriage is the specific source and original means of sanctification for Christian married couples and families.  (It) is in itself a liturgical action, glorifying God.  (It) gives couples the grace and obligation of transforming their whole lives into a spiritual sacrifice.*

*John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, #56

The sacrament of marriage is the grace of God’s love poured out on us.  We experience love in friendship and marriage is the utmost of friendships, wherein God communicates himself to us through the love of the other.  The commitment of the couple is to the growth of each individual and to the good of the family as a whole.  Deepening this commitment is hard work and, in the exacting rush of contemporary family life, difficult to attain.  There is much to occupy a couple’s daily life, and intimacy is often not sought out or protected.  At times, it may be easier to walk through busy lives filled with children, career building, and retirement planning and fail to look into each other’s eyes.

Let’s return to Cana.  What does this miracle say to you about marriage? Invite Jesus to join you in your marriage. Jesus will take what is good and filled with love and life-giving, the “water,” and transform it into choice wine, delectable and enjoyable for the community, and pleasing to God. Love like Jesus.

He came when invited to the wedding feast, then, proceeded on a difficult journey of sacrificing his life for the sake of love.  We are not loved by Jesus or by our spouse because of who we are today, but for who we can become through God’s grace.  Jesus loved us that we might become more fully the sons and daughters of God, our Father.  We are called to lay down our lives for each other so that the goodness we see in each other can be transformed into choice wine, into lives filled with love and grace and mercy.  With God’s grace, this is choice wine that will never run out, and only increase in value to those who are nourished by drinking at the feast.

(1) Baptismal Certificates.  Catholics must furnish a Baptism certificate recently issued (no sooner than 6 months before the wedding) by contacting the church in which you were baptized. Other Christians can present a copy of a certificate from their church of baptism.

(2) Freedom to Marry Affidavits.  These affidavits testify that you have never been married before. They are to be signed by two witnesses (usually parents, relatives or friends). The two witnesses can sign separately if necessary. Your witnesses may either sign their affidavit in the presence of a priest or deacon who seals it or use a notary.

(3) Dispensations.  The Pastor will arrange for permissions from the Bishop if these are needed. When marrying someone who is not Catholic, the Catholic reaffirms that he or she will continue to attend Mass and practice the Catholic Faith and to share this Faith with their children, usually raising them as Catholic.

• The website: For Your Marriage offers excellent and current articles on marriage from a Catholic Christian perspective.  Please check out the website and a few articles. Summary of the Pastoral Initiative for Marriage – “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan –
• A Pastoral letter by the Catholic Bishops of the United States”
• Stages of Marriage
• Friendship and Marriage
• A useful site for those Planning a Catholic wedding
• The USCCB website on marriage

Financial Planning:

• Statistics indicate that many couples divorce because of tensions over finances. Don’t become a statistic! The management of finances can be learned, and the earlier the better. You will receive for your reference the book, “Financial Peace Revisited,” by Dave Ramsey. Mr. Ramsey also has a helpful website.

Tip of the Month:

“Yes, we do marry our soul mates,” one wise couple said. “But it’s at the end of the marriage and not the beginning that we discover this.” What have you discovered recently about your spouse that reminds you of the blessing he or she is to your life? How did you see this gift when you married? How has it developed over the years and stages of your marriage?